Golf umbrellas and sidewalk etiquette

Golf Umbrella - what a funny name. I wonder if perhaps it was, at some point, intended for...say...golf?

To all of you making your morning commute with a giant golf umbrella, you are really pissing off the rest of us. There you are, with an impromptu circus tent held precariously over your head, wandering down the dead center of the sidewalk while the rest of us try to make our way to our respective destinations without suffering from a poke in the eye. God forbid if that thing should come down unexpectedly, the national guard would be called in to dig out all the bodies.

While we are on the subject of sidewalk etiquette, people, learn how to share! You may not spread out side by side with five of your closest buddies and try to bridge the sidewalk from street to building. You should not be bopping along to you ipod down the dead center of the sidewalk (possibly with a giant umbrella) while everyone else tries to dodge around you as best they can. Grow up and realize there may actually be other people in the world as well. Criminy. Conversations should be held at the edges and in building doorways. It's getting hard to simply walk down the street - jogging is basically impossible.

Also, absolutely no singing at the top of your voice. I don't care how drunk you are, or how good you think you sound. I would rather not be serenaded at 3am by a group of drunk post-college frat boys when all I really want to do is get some sleep.

That is all.